{"id":1599,"date":"2020-07-10T14:26:34","date_gmt":"2020-07-10T14:26:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/?p=1599"},"modified":"2020-07-10T14:26:34","modified_gmt":"2020-07-10T14:26:34","slug":"empty-nest-syndrome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/empty-nest-syndrome\/","title":{"rendered":"Empty Nest Syndrome"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Round Arrow\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"Round Arrow\" data-id=\"158\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Round-Arrow-1.png\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 300px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 300\/300;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span>\u200bThe journey to find a good therapist<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><strong>Searching for a therapist<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Whether you\u2019re dealing with depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, or feel like you may just need to talk about what is happening in your life with someone outside your social circle, therapy can be an incredibly helpful tool in finding our way through life. For some people it\u2019s hard to come to a place where they are ready to see a therapist.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">But it can be even harder to find the right therapist that will actually help you with the problems you are facing.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">It took me a long time to finally find a person that works for me in my unique situation. And the process of getting there has been frustrating and confusing at times. The first step for most of us these days is to hop online and start searching for our options. And looking at all the different letters after a therapist\u2019s name is where some of the confusion may already start.<\/p>\n<h3>Your therapist might be multiple people<\/h3>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">For me, my therapist ended up being several different people. During my depression, I had access to a mental health counselor. Working with him was the very first step I took toward counselling and therapy. After several years, I had to relocate for school. Needless to say, I had to find a different therapist in the new city.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u201cOur wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful parts of us.\u201d&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&#8211; David Richo<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">And as I moved along my journey through depression, many others joined my mental health team. For instance, I worked with a psychiatrist and a hypnotherapist for some time. After that, my needs changed and I worked with a relationship counselor and later on a women-focused life coach. You may find that over time, your needs will change as well.<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Round Arrow\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"Round Arrow\" data-id=\"158\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Round-Arrow-1.png\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 300px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 300\/300;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span>Psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor or therapist?<\/span><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Broadly speaking, different designations (their title represented by letters after their name) refer to different paths and lengths of education that person has taken to come to practice. They may also be registered with different regulatory bodies depending on which designation they have. I have a quick outline for you here. But keep in mind that there may be differences depending on the country of practice or even the state or province you live in.<\/p>\n<h3>Psychiatrist<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"\">A medical doctor who specializes in diagnosing and treating mental illness<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"\">*Licensed to write prescriptions*<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"\">Equipped to deal with extreme presentations of mental illness<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>May focus solely on medication management and a medical diagnosis and work in tandem with another therapist for behavioral therapy (some psychiatrists will also do behavioral therapy themselves)<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Determines appropriate treatments based on clinical diagnoses and observations<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>May have a more academic approach<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Psychologist<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"\">Has a doctoral degree in psychology<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"\">Most psychologists cannot (in most states of the USA, for example) prescribe medication, so they may work with your medical doctor if prescriptions or medical procedures are necessary<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"\">Focus is on behavioral therapy<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Helps clients clarify their feelings and make life decisions<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Aims to support and guide you<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3 style=\"\">Licensed Counselor<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"\">Usually has a Master&#8217;s Degree in Psychology, counseling, or a related field<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"\">Cannot prescribe medications<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"\">Focus is on talking and behavioral therapy<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Helps clients clarify their feelings and make life decisions<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Aims to support and guide you<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Clinical social worker<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"\">Has at least a Master&#8217;s Degree in Social Work and additional training to be able to evaluate and treat mental illnesses.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"\">Most can help with case management (like hospital discharge planning), in addition to referring to community resources and advocate for patients in the system<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"\">Helps clients clarify their feelings and make life decisions<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Aims to support and guide you<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Therapist<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"\">A broad term in the mental health field that usually refers to someone who specializes in behavioral therapy, like a psychologist, psychiatrist, marriage counselor, social worker, or even alternative helping practitioners and life coaches<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"\">Helps clients clarify their feelings and make life decisions<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"\">Aims to support and guide you<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Round Arrow\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"Round Arrow\" data-id=\"158\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Round-Arrow-1.png\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 300px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 300\/300;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span>Navigating the internet for a therapist<\/span><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">With the above guidelines in mind, have a look at online registries and search results and start browsing your options. Reading through their websites thoroughly can often give you a pretty good idea of the type of therapy they provide. A lot of times you can find a rating for a doctor or therapist and read through the reviews online. Moreover, there are many mental health forums you can join that help you find a therapist in your area.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">You may also want to find the answers to some basic questions for each therapist. Is their approach more academic or emotional? What type of methods do they specialize in? Do they work with specific demographics? How long have they been a therapist? What are their qualifications and are they licensed to practice where you live?<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Finding a therapist online\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" title=\"Finding a therapist online\" data-id=\"1243\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Finding-a-therapist-online.jpg\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"426\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"426\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 640px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 640\/426;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a good idea to narrow down the field with practical things like driving distance, hours of operation or offering online appointments.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">If you end up finding a helpful therapist, you could be going to see them for months or even years. A long commute or restricted working hours may end up becoming a burden when sessions have to fit between work and life. In addition, you might prefer to have sessions online, if driving is not feasible. In that case, be sure to check if they offer online appointments.<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Round Arrow\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"Round Arrow\" data-id=\"158\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Round-Arrow-1.png\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 300px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 300\/300;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span>Will the cost of a therapist be covered?<\/span><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">In case you are lucky enough to have extended medical coverage, you may also want to check with your insurance provider if they cover the specific designation of therapist you are considering. The letters at the end of the name can be a minefield of confusion. Even one letter different than the approved designation can mean that you end up paying out of pocket.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">I found it easiest to actually have their title in front of me when I called my insurance provider to double check if it was included in my coverage. If you don\u2019t have medical coverage, there are still many resources online. Moreover, certain programs you may qualify for that subsidize therapy or provide free counselling. Check with your doctor, community mental health resources, or online for more information specific to your area.<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Therapist costs\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" title=\"Therapist costs\" data-id=\"1244\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Therapist-costs.jpg\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"426\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"426\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 640px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 640\/426;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">During my teenage years, I received free counselling through our local mental health program. Later, my therapy was covered through my studies at university. Once I finished studying, I did not have a job with medical coverage. I ended up in another community mental health program. This worked very well for me because I was still in a large city. It might be a little more difficult to get access to support in smaller towns or rural areas.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">As my needs changed and I considered alternative therapies, some sessions were covered by my extended medical and some were not. I have to say that private medical insurance is getting much better at covering therapy; however, they still have a long way to go. You may find that if you choose an alternative practitioner, like a hypnotherapist, you may have to pay out of pocket.<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Round Arrow\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"Round Arrow\" data-id=\"158\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Round-Arrow-1.png\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 300px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 300\/300;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span>Ask friends and family or check online reviews<\/span><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Different people respond to different therapists and everyone has different goals for their own therapy. In other words, what might work for one person, may not work for another. So with that in mind, it\u2019s still worth asking for recommendations from friends or family. It can be very helpful if they are seeing their therapist for similar reasons or goals to your own. If you\u2019re comfortable, ask around to your family or friends to see if anyone has had an experience worth recommending.<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Therapist reviews\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" title=\"Therapist reviews\" data-id=\"1245\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Therapist-reviews.jpg\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"426\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"426\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 640px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 640\/426;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">If that\u2019s not an option for you, it can always be worthwhile to read the online reviews for some therapists you are considering. Again, keep in mind that a therapist is a very individual fit, but sometimes the review can apply more broadly. Take the online reviews with a grain of salt. I have seen so many bad reviews that actually had nothing to do at all with the quality of therapy. Above all, don\u2019t be turned off solely by the online reviews.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">You may be seeing a doctor already for your depression and you can always ask her or him for a recommendation. Often, doctors know the available therapists in the area and can even make a quick call for a referral. Keep in mind that you are not obliged to stick with that therapist. But, it might get you a quick appointment, if you need help now. My doctor set up my referral to the community mental health program and I received the help I needed right away.<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Round Arrow\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"Round Arrow\" data-id=\"158\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Round-Arrow-1.png\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 300px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 300\/300;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: normal;\">Have a consultation call<\/span><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Once you\u2019ve narrowed the field of potential therapists, try to request a short consultation phone call or ask questions in an email. Share a bit about your background and your goals and see if this fits into their area of expertise. After that, you can also ask any questions the website did not answer for you. Especially any questions around fees or age group.<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Consultation call\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" title=\"Consultation call\" data-id=\"1246\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Consultation-call.jpg\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"426\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"426\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 640px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 640\/426;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Some people ask the therapist about where they went to school or the experience they have with their type of issue. Have they ever helped someone overcome it successfully? Their answer should make you feel confident that they can help you achieve your goals. So, go with your gut feeling when it comes to making the final decision.<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Round Arrow\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"Round Arrow\" data-id=\"158\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Round-Arrow-1.png\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 300px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 300\/300;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: normal;\">The first session<\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Especially if it\u2019s your first time to counselling, it can be an awkward experience to just sit down and start talking about your intimate feelings with a complete stranger. A good therapist will, however, always make you feel welcome and comfortable. They will be a very attentive listener, while building a conversation as organically as possible. You should never feel like they are distracted, or pushing their own agenda or opinion on what you\u2019ve shared. You should feel like they are only working to support your goals for therapy.<\/p>\n<p>Look for any red flags, including:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>                    <span style=\"\">Your therapist is talking more than you<\/span><\/li>\n<li>                    <span style=\"\">The therapist is interrupting you a lot<\/span><\/li>\n<li>                    <span style=\"\">Your therapist is making you feel judged or ashamed<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Physical contact without express consent that makes you uncomfortable<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Inappropriate behavior or questions that make you uncomfortable in a way that feels unrelated to the goals of the therapy<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Violating confidentiality about you or another patient (like sharing details with you about another patient while actually sharing that individual\u2019s identity)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"First session with a therapist\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" title=\"First session with a therapist\" data-id=\"1251\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/First-session-with-a-therapist.jpg\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"427\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"427\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 640px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 640\/427;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p>If all goes well, and you feel comfortable, you and your therapist will agree on a treatment plan and schedule going forward; however, if the session did not make you feel comfortable for any reason, you have no obligation to schedule another appointment. You can simply continue looking for another therapist. Never feel pressured to have to stay with one therapist. Therapy is deeply personal and you need to feel like you can work with a particular therapist.<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Round Arrow\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"Round Arrow\" data-id=\"158\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Round-Arrow-1.png\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 300px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 300\/300;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: normal;\">How long should I see a therapist<\/span><\/h2>\n<p>This answer very much depends on the issue you are dealing with and the type of treatment you are receiving. Everyone is different. Some people go to therapy for only a few months to overcome a particularly hard time in their lives. Others will need the support for life. Talk to your therapist about their recommendations in order to set expectations and find the right fit for your life.<\/p>\n<p>I started off with counselling several times a week because of my situation. Over time, I went once a week. Later, I simply phoned when I needed an appointment. You may find that when you are in the midst of a severe depression, you will need a lot more support than when you are just feeling down. As you get to know yourself and your depression, you may also find that you get better at asking for help when you need it. Now, when I know I am sliding down a slippery slope, I get in touch with my therapist and get the support I need. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a support network you can call on when things get tough.<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Round Arrow\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"Round Arrow\" data-id=\"158\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Round-Arrow-1.png\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 300px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 300\/300;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: normal;\">Finding a good fit<\/span><\/h2>\n<p>While highly trained, therapists are people, and just like anyone else you meet, they will have a certain style through which they communicate. Depending on where you\u2019re at with your journey and why you\u2019re seeking counselling, you may or may not feel comfortable with the way they communicate with you and approach what you\u2019re sharing with them.<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Trust and rapport with therapist\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" title=\"Trust and rapport with therapist\" data-id=\"1252\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Trust-and-rapport-with-therapist.jpg\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"427\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"427\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 640px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 640\/427;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Some have a very \u201cno-nonsense\u201d approach that can cut through messy feelings, while others may take a very soothing or comforting tone to encourage elaboration instead. It\u2019s important to go with your gut when deciding whether a certain therapist\u2019s style is right for you; however, it\u2019s most important to have a good rapport and feel very comfortable sharing with them.<\/p>\n<p>If after several sessions of getting to know them, you find yourself not wanting to share the whole story, or lying about anything, you\u2019ve most likely not found a good fit yet. The tendency to hold back or distort the truth means you are still feeling some kind of judgement from that person, and likely won\u2019t be able to share truthfully enough to make progress. Telling the whole truth in therapy is vital. In other words, if I\u2019m lying to my therapist, I\u2019m paying a lot of money to have someone work on a false problem. And that doesn\u2019t help!<\/p>\n<p>It may take a few sessions to know if you want to continue seeing a certain therapist, but don\u2019t feel bad if you have to try a few different ones before you find the right fit. While it can feel overwhelming to have to open up to different people in order to find a therapist you really find helpful, the reward of having someone who truly understands and guides you can be life changing (well worth the work).<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Round Arrow\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"Round Arrow\" data-id=\"158\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Round-Arrow-1.png\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 300px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 300\/300;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: normal;\">My own journey with therapists over the years<\/span><\/h2>\n<p>I once saw a psychologist for a few sessions who showed that she empathized with me like a trained parrot who said \u201cawww yes, that must have been hard for you\u201d after literally every sentence I said. At first I thought it was a nice way of sympathizing, but after an hour I had to restrain myself from yelling \u201cyes of course it was\u2026 that\u2019s why I\u2019m here, thank you for dwelling on that!!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I also saw a very stuffy counselor who was quite matter-of-fact. And at the end of the session I felt a bit judged and ashamed, almost like she was telling me to \u201csuck-it\u2019up\u201d about what I was feeling. In conclusion, I found that to be a very discouraging session and it took me a long time to even try with another counselor again.<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Bad experience\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" title=\"Bad experience\" data-id=\"1253\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Bad-experience.jpg\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"427\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"427\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 640px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 640\/427;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p>I have also seen other therapists who just wallowed in my pain with me out of immense empathy but never got me anywhere productive in my thoughts. Above all, while sympathy and empathy are important, you also want to find a way to resolve your problem, not just keep drawing it out.<\/p>\n<p>In the end, through a friend\u2019s inadvertent recommendation I found a woman who has just the right amount of humor, sympathy and \u201clet\u2019s do it\u201d attitude to make me feel like I am talking with a friend. I feel accepted, so I can be completely honest with her, and to me, that is the most important part.<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Round Arrow\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"Round Arrow\" data-id=\"158\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Round-Arrow-1.png\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 300px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 300\/300;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: normal;\">The Takeaway<\/span><\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">No matter how many degrees a therapist has, if you feel scared, intimidated, or judged, you won\u2019t tell them the full truth. And they will never really be able to help you with your inner conflict. You have to find someone you can be open with, someone you trust fully; however,&nbsp; the biggest mistake I made was giving up after meeting with a counselor who was simply not a good fit for me. I mistakenly thought all therapy would be the same.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">What I learned over time is that it might take a bit of searching and trying before finding someone who clicks with you. In addition, you might want to widen your search area to therapists who work with different methods. Some people respond better to one therapy method and others need a different way to work through their situation. I feel like therapy is as individual as buying your clothes. In other words, what fits for you might be terrible for someone else.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">And you can hopefully count on the fact that you will change. Your therapist will likely make the very best effort to support you as much as they can. For instance, you may reach a point where you have resolved one issue and are needing to resolve something else. Sometimes, as you grow as a person, you may outgrow your therapist and need to work with someone else.<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"New therapist\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" title=\"New therapist\" data-id=\"1249\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/New-therapist.jpg\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"426\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"426\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 640px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 640\/426;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<h3>Don\u2019t be afraid of therapy<\/h3>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Therapy is there to help you. You may not want to hear the truth about certain things you discuss in therapy, but even that is crucial if you want to move forward. I found that while it was comforting to talk to my family or friends, I needed someone completely unrelated to help me. None of my family is trained in therapy. But, they also tend to coddle me and that did not help with my recovery in the long term.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Often, after severe trauma, it is difficult to get started with therapy.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Don\u2019t let that fear of opening up and having to \u201crelive\u201d your trauma stop you from seeking help. Therapists are trained to work with traumatized people and they will support you through whatever you are experiencing. I found that working with my trauma actually allowed me to heal through it. I feel like if I had not worked with a therapist, my trauma would still be haunting me at every turn because I would have just tried to ignore it and shut it out.<\/p>\n<p><span><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"No fear of therapy\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" title=\"No fear of therapy\" data-id=\"1248\" data-src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/No-fear-of-therapy.jpg\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"426\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"426\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 640px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 640\/426;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">One final thought I want to put out there is that you need to be open. If you go to therapy with the mindset that you have no problems and you will just prove them wrong, therapy will be a waste of your time. You can only be helped if you are open to receiving help and open to changing. You are in your current situation because you have followed one path. It seems obvious that if you are not prepared to change that path, you will continue down the same road with the same results.<\/p>\n<p>Make a conscious decision to choose yourself today. You deserve to be happy and find the healing and support you need.<\/p>\n<p>Sources<\/p>\n<p><span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.webmd.com\/mental-health\/guide-to-psychiatry-and-counseling#1\" style=\"outline: none;\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">https:\/\/www.webmd.com\/mental-health\/guide-to-psychiatry-and-counseling#1<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: none; display: inline-block;\">https:\/\/www.allpsychologyschools.com\/psychology\/differences-therapist-psychologist\/<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thejorni.com\" style=\"outline: none;\">www.thejorni.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u200bThe journey to find a good therapist Searching for a therapist Whether you\u2019re dealing with depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, or feel like you may just need to talk about what is happening in your life with someone outside your social circle, therapy can be an incredibly helpful tool in finding our way through life. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1629,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","tve_updated_post":"<div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_contentbox_shortcode thrv-content-box tve-elem-default-pad\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e259e15\">\n\t<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\"><\/div>\n\t<div class=\"tve-cb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_contentbox_shortcode thrv-content-box tve-elem-default-pad\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e342696\">\n\t<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4620c5\"><\/div>\n\t<div class=\"tve-cb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-columns\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e453273\"><div class=\"tcb-flex-row tcb--cols--2 tcb-resized\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e452da4\"><div class=\"tcb-flex-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4457d4\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4560fb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e5dd307\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img class=\"tve_image wp-image-158\" alt=\"Round Arrow\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"Round Arrow\" data-id=\"158\" src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Round-Arrow-1.png\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4414d6\"><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"tcb-flex-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4457f1\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-col\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e5e3e36\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e5d96c3\"><span data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e5df7b5\">What is empty nest syndrome?<br><\/span><\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1731351b0e9\" style=\"\"><strong>When kids leave and the feeling of an empty nest kicks in<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e1d0ef9\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">We\u2019ve all heard of the term empty nest syndrome. But maybe in our youth we didn\u2019t really understand the gravity of the feelings that can come with it. It can be incomprehensible to imagine the feelings of deep sadness or even depression until the day actually comes. While the term \u201cempty nest\u201d refers specifically to the last child leaving home, the feelings associated with the syndrome can start to appear even before this time.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_contentbox_shortcode thrv-content-box\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-160c1e84e06\" data-ct-name=\"Modern 9\" data-ct=\"stylebox-8929\" data-element-name=\"Styled Box\">\n<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e825c68\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"tve-cb tve_empty_dropzone\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e825c69\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4e4a7f\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Many parents report feeling lonely, depressed, abandoned, aimless, and sad when their children start to have their own serious relationships and start spending more time away from them.<\/p><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e1d0ef9\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">These feelings do tend to come to a head when the kids move out, whether it be into their own home, or to go away for school. These feelings can even start sometime before. If one of your children does a student exchange year abroad, for example.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-17313520aee\" style=\"\"><strong>Important life transitions<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e1d0ef9\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">While empty nest syndrome is not a clinical disorder, it is a well recognized life transition that can leave some parents facing difficult feelings of profound loss which can lead to depression. The condition tends to affect women more than men, especially women who were full-time mothers. This probably does not come as a surprise and makes a lot of sense.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_contentbox_shortcode thrv-content-box tve-elem-default-pad\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e2538ab\">\n\t<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e2945a3\"><\/div>\n\t<div class=\"tve-cb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e2787cf\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e285f42\" style=\"text-align: center;\">\u201cParents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.\u201d<br>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;- Anne Frank<\/p><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e1d0ef9\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Many women gave up their careers to be full-time mothers. They have spent years caring for their children and in the process have usually had very little time for themselves. When their children move out, it leaves a big hole with nothing to fill it. Whereas many fathers have continued to work and pursue their purpose outside the family, this may not be the case for women.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_contentbox_shortcode thrv-content-box tve-elem-default-pad\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e342696\">\n\t<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4620c5\"><\/div>\n\t<div class=\"tve-cb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-columns\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e453273\"><div class=\"tcb-flex-row tcb--cols--2 tcb-resized\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e452da4\"><div class=\"tcb-flex-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4457d4\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4560fb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e5dd307\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img class=\"tve_image wp-image-158\" alt=\"Round Arrow\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"Round Arrow\" data-id=\"158\" src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Round-Arrow-1.png\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4414d6\"><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"tcb-flex-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4457f1\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-col\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e5e3e36\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e5d96c3\"><span data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e5df7b5\">Why is having an empty nest so hard?<br><\/span><\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-173135258ca\" style=\"\"><strong>Identity crisis<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eec9a8\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">The job of being a parent never truly ends once you bring life into the world. But the role definitely changes over time. The initial adjustments we make to fit a new child into our lives are life-changing. Many new parents struggle with the drastic way in which their lives shift. From one moment to the next, you are no longer the main focus of your life\u2026 nor is your partner. The little human needs all of your attention, love and time, and your job becomes caring for that baby day and night.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eed5e7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">For women particularly, life can change a lot. We may go from working full time to staying home. Where you had the freedom to run errands or be active before, you now follow the schedule of a baby\u2019s sleeping and eating patterns. When you\u2019re out, you are likely carrying your baby with you. And you start to wear appropriate, comfortable clothing that can withstand this new job. You may even change the way you talk in front of the child. And your mannerisms might adapt to be more positive and approachable around the baby. In short - we change a lot when we become a parent. And that\u2019s not good or bad, it\u2019s normal.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-171f0a7b071\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img class=\"tve_image wp-image-1606\" alt=\"Changes before empty nest\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" title=\"Changes before empty nest\" data-id=\"1606\" src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Changes-before-empty-nest.jpg\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8eb50c15\" style=\"\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"426\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"426\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-173135258ca\" style=\"\"><strong>Redefining yourself as an empty nester<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eed5e7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">When the transition then comes that your child is ready to leave the home, it\u2019s understandable that there can be deep feelings of sadness, but also purposelessness and identity confusion. We\u2019ve spent all these years adapting our time around their schedules and lives. Then, suddenly, it\u2019s all just handed back to us. Our time is our own again. Our house is our own again\u2026 but we may not really remember what we used to do with all that space and time!<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eed5e7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Obviously we\u2019ve changed over those years of child raising too. So it can be hard to figure out \u201cwho we are\u201d or \u201cwho we want to be\u201d without having the kid(s) around all the time. We are left with a lot of questions. It can be incredibly hard to bring the focus back to ourselves and find what makes us happy without kids around. For so many years, our children defined who we were. Now, we have to re-define who we are when our kids are grown.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-173135258ca\" style=\"\"><strong>Becoming the distance parent<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eed5e7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Another reason why this transition can have such a deep impact on a parent is because it marks a very distinct shift in parenting. When a child is still living at home, the proximity allows you more insight and understanding into their lives. This can be very comforting and reassuring as a parent. Once a child moves out (especially if they're still at an age where they need guidance with certain things), you become a \u201cdistance parent\u201d, which can be a hard transition.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eed5e7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Many parents struggle with knowing how often to call or check in. They spend a lot of their time at home wondering and worrying about how their child is doing. This can cause a lot of extra anxiety along with the feelings of loneliness and sadness. It can be hard to find a new parenting balance of being there for your newly \u201cindependent\u201d child and giving them enough space to learn their lessons.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eed5e7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">While the transition to independence has already been happening for many years, moving out can represent a final \u201cbreak\u201d from parental control. This new relationship is completely based on trust and it can be hard to find the courage to let the child have the space they need to grow on their own. Many parents ask their children to call or text every day. Trying to retain some measure of control can be tough for both the child and the parents.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eed5e7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Not being asked for your opinion and support on a regular basis can leave you feeling like you are no longer needed. Becoming a distance parents can bring issues about your own life purpose to the surface. While you used to spend the majority of your time being a hands-on mom, the sudden lack of interaction can lead to feeling empty and redundant.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-173135258ca\" style=\"\"><strong>Marital conflict<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eed5e7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Another factor that plays into empty nest syndrome can be how a child leaving the home affects the relationship with your partner. Like I already said, we make a lot of changes when we first become parents. A lot of those patterns and routines stay in place while the kids are growing up. We don\u2019t have the same one-on-one time with our partner like we used to. If we do have some down-time, it\u2019s usually spent with a little one.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eed5e7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">So when that child leaves home after so many years and all other distractions are gone, it might be hard to look at the status of that relationship. Maybe you have changed? Maybe the passion doesn\u2019t seem to be there anymore? Or maybe you just don\u2019t really remember how to spend time together intimately. It\u2019s possible that over the years you didn't even notice that you\u2019ve grown apart.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-171f0a7b071\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img class=\"tve_image wp-image-1607\" alt=\"Empty nest and marital conflict\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" title=\"Empty nest and marital conflict\" data-id=\"1607\" src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Empty-nest-and-marital-conflict.jpg\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8eb50c15\" style=\"\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"427\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"427\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eed5e7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">These can be hard discoveries to make. When the last child leaves home it can expose some things that have been buried in denial for years. You might also find that while one partner has continued to work and follow their purpose, your situation might be different. Whereas there used to be a clear definition of roles in your relationship, this has now changed. You are left to redefine your new role in the relationship and this might cause some conflict.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eed5e7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Often, one partner has continued to work and may not understand the feelings that can come with an empty nest. This might lead to a disconnect in your relationship that will need to be resolved. One partner may be fulfilled with their work, hobbies, and social commitments. Meanwhile, the other partner might feel lonely and without purpose and feels like they cannot talk about it.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-173135258ca\" style=\"\"><strong>Impact on the family unit<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eed5e7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Although empty nest syndrome usually refers to the last child leaving the home, the feelings associated with it can also come from any child leaving the home. Maybe your firstborn is taking the leap and moving in with a boyfriend one town over. Or maybe they are going off to college or moving out to be closer to their work.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eed5e7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">The dynamic of the family still changes drastically when they are no longer in the house. Other siblings can also feel affected by this change. They may start to struggle with sad feelings of their own. Sometimes the older sibling is a grounding, guiding force to younger siblings. It can be a tough transition for younger kids to not have their confidant around as much.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eed5e7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">The family dynamic can shift drastically if one child is no longer joining for family dinners or even events or vacations. Everyone gets used to a role they have in the family, and when one member moves on from the family home, these roles might change a lot. Often, a move for school or work can mean a move to another state or across the country and regular visits are just not possible.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-171f0a7b071\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img class=\"tve_image wp-image-1609\" alt=\"Empty nest feelings\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" title=\"Empty nest feelings\" data-id=\"1609\" src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Empty-nest-feelings.jpg\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8eb50c15\" style=\"\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"426\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"426\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-17338eed5e7\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-172efc81db7\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Some children find that their parents become overprotective and clingy when their sibling moves out. As parents begin to feel the change from having one child move out, they try to keep their other children close. Sometimes much too close. This can lead to tensions within the family and the younger siblings can be left feeling suffocated.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_contentbox_shortcode thrv-content-box tve-elem-default-pad\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e342696\">\n\t<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4620c5\"><\/div>\n\t<div class=\"tve-cb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-columns\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e453273\"><div class=\"tcb-flex-row tcb--cols--2 tcb-resized\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e452da4\"><div class=\"tcb-flex-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4457d4\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4560fb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e5dd307\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img class=\"tve_image wp-image-158\" alt=\"Round Arrow\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"Round Arrow\" data-id=\"158\" src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Round-Arrow-1.png\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4414d6\"><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"tcb-flex-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4457f1\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-col\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e5e3e36\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e5d96c3\"><span data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e5df7b5\">How to feel better about your empty nest<br><\/span><\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-173135258ca\" style=\"\"><strong>Plan ahead<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e1d0ef9\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">A child leaving home is (for the most part) inevitable. Knowing a rough timeline can help us prepare for this event so that we have a support system in place when it happens. You don\u2019t have to wait for the silent house to start bringing the focus back to yourself. Carve out some time to really focus on your own passions and see if there has been anything you put on the back burner for parenting. Maybe it\u2019s time to \u201cunpause\u201d that hobby or start a new routine to get back to your former health.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-173135258ca\" style=\"\"><strong>Don\u2019t impose your own timing<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e1d0ef9\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Remember that things change over time. Your child\u2019s timetable might be very different than yours was at their age. Try to avoid imposing your own timetable on their situation and try to help them find their own way instead. At some point, you have to trust the fact that you have raised a very capable human being. They will decide what is right for them in their own time and in a way that works for them.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-173135258ca\" style=\"\"><strong>Set ground rules<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e1d0ef9\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Because it can be hard to know how closely to stay in touch once they move out, talk about a plan so everyone knows what to expect. Set regular check in days for phone calls or visits at intervals that you\u2019re both comfortable with. This way you avoid the anxiety of being out of touch, and they avoid feeling overwhelmed with phone calls and helicopter parent texts.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-171f0a7b071\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img class=\"tve_image wp-image-1611\" alt=\"Empty nest ground rules\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" title=\"Empty nest ground rules\" data-id=\"1611\" src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Empty-nest-ground-rules.jpg\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8eb50c15\" style=\"\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"426\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"426\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-17313534c0c\"><strong>Get support from other empty nesters<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e1d0ef9\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Empty nest syndrome is something nearly all parents go through at some point. While each of us deal with the transition differently, it can help to reach out to others who have been there too. Talk to a friend or seek out a therapist to help you make sense of what you\u2019re feeling and what it means. There are also many local and online groups that meet and support each other through this transition.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-173135397cf\"><strong>Create a new space out of your empty nest<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e1d0ef9\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Some of my friends moved out and a few weeks later found out that their bedroom had been converted into an exercise room or a library. Although you might want to hang on to your childrens\u2019 rooms exactly as they were, this might also be a good time to let go.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e1d0ef9\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">When a child moves out, you can start decluttering the house. You can also redecorate in a style that suits you instead of a family with small kids. You can always keep that fold-out couch for when your kids visit, but it might feel good to recreate your space and make it yours again.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1731353e66a\" style=\"\"><strong>Travel<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e1d0ef9\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Depending on the health crisis, this might also be the ideal time to travel. With the kids out of the house, you can finally take that trip to Europe you always wanted to go on. Or spend a weekend with your girlfriends on a city break. Travelling with your partner, friends, or family can give you a new perspective and even inspire you for what you might want to do next.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1731353e66a\" style=\"\"><strong>Revamp your career<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e1d0ef9\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Some people find that when their children move out, they would love to have some kind of career again. Depending on your previous education and experience, you might be able to find something you really enjoy doing. Often, we choose a career based on earning an income. After your children leave home, you might be able to choose your work based on what you love doing. Working and earning an income will give you a purpose again, which can go a long way in healing through the change.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1731353e66a\" style=\"\"><strong>Volunteer<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e1d0ef9\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">A lot of people choose to spend some of their time volunteering once their kids move out. You may or may not be working, but you will likely have a lot more free time than before. Maybe you love animals and want to volunteer at an animal shelter. Or you choose to help with the local food bank or homeless shelter. Non-profit organizations are usually very grateful for the extra help and giving back to the community is very fulfilling.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-171f0a7b071\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img class=\"tve_image wp-image-1613\" alt=\"Volunteering to avoid empty nest\" width=\"640\" height=\"403\" title=\"Volunteering to avoid empty nest\" data-id=\"1613\" src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Volunteering-to-avoid-empty-nest.jpg\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8eb50c15\" style=\"\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"403\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"403\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1731353e66a\" style=\"\"><strong>Look at your finances<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e1d0ef9\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">You may have let your finances take a bit of a beating while you were raising your kids. This happens more often than you think. People get very busy and the priority is on the family and not the finances. Now might be a great time to make an appointment with your financial advisor. Maybe you are thinking of downsizing. Or you want to make a plan for retirement. However your new situation evolves, getting some advice on how to proceed might be helpful.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_contentbox_shortcode thrv-content-box tve-elem-default-pad\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e342696\">\n\t<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4620c5\"><\/div>\n\t<div class=\"tve-cb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-columns\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e453273\"><div class=\"tcb-flex-row tcb-resized tcb--cols--2\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e452da4\"><div class=\"tcb-flex-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4457d4\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4560fb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e5dd307\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img class=\"tve_image wp-image-158\" alt=\"Round Arrow\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"Round Arrow\" data-id=\"158\" src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Round-Arrow-1.png\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4414d6\"><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"tcb-flex-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e4457f1\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-col\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e5e3e36\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e60884d\"><span style=\"font-weight: normal;\">The Takeaway<\/span><\/h2><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e2fd23f\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Life transitions are always hard. When we face a major shift, we have to reinvent ourselves in order to adapt to the new circumstances. It can be uncomfortable to change, but it is a necessary part of moving through life. Looking on the positive side of these transitions is always a good way to find the momentum to get past them.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e9bd23b\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img class=\"tve_image wp-image-1614\" alt=\"Family and empty nest\" width=\"640\" height=\"457\" title=\"Family and empty nest\" data-id=\"1614\" src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Family-and-empty-nest.jpg\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e9bd240\" style=\"\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"457\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"457\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e2fd23f\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Try to focus on the incredible milestone in your child\u2019s life. They are able to become independent in large part because of your guidance and parenting over the years. So in a way, this is proof of how successful your relationship has been.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_contentbox_shortcode thrv-content-box\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8eaa1067\" data-ct-name=\"Modern 9\" data-ct=\"stylebox-8929\" data-element-name=\"Styled Box\">\n<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8ea92876\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"tve-cb tve_empty_dropzone\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8ea92877\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element tve_empty_dropzone\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8ea9287a\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8ea9287b\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Also, while your relationship with them will change, it will also bring a lot of joy in new ways.<\/p><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e2fd23f\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Becoming the parent to adult children has many of its own incredible benefits. It can take a bit of distance for children to come to understand and appreciate everything you used to do for them. Gaining that perspective is part of their maturing and becoming more independent.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e2fd23f\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Most importantly, as much as you may not want to do it, bringing the focus back to yourself can be a really rewarding journey. So many of us haven\u2019t had the time to ask ourselves who we want to be and what we like to do in years. Now is the time to ask yourself. There is plenty of time to make adjustments to your path and maybe make changes to things that haven\u2019t been right for a while.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-173135516a5\" style=\"\"><strong>A new beginning with an empty nest<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e2fd23f\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">In this way, \u201cempty nest\u201d can signal a revival of vibrance and care in your life that carries you forward with new momentum. There is still much joy ahead, and ironically, the more you start to rediscover yourself, the more you will have to share with your grown kids. You might find out that you both like some of the same hobbies. Things like that will connect you even deeper.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e2fd23f\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">You have given many years to raising your children. There is nothing wrong with taking some time for yourself now. Your kids will always be your kids. They will visit. You will share their lives and maybe even have grandchildren in the future. And in addition, you will now have the freedom to find yourself again as well.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e9bd23b\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img class=\"tve_image wp-image-1615\" alt=\"A new beginning with an empty nest\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" title=\"A new beginning with an empty nest\" data-id=\"1615\" src=\"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/A-new-beginning-with-an-empty-nest.jpg\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e9bd240\" style=\"\" data-width=\"640\" data-height=\"426\" data-init-width=\"640\" data-init-height=\"426\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e2fd23f\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">From experience, it is extremely hard to watch your parents suffer when you leave home. For me, I felt much happier knowing that both of my parents were working. They also had their own hobbies and stayed busy with travelling. Knowing that they were ok lifted a huge burden off my shoulders and I was free to start building my own life.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e2fd23f\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Understand that your children want you to be happy and find your own path. They definitely don\u2019t want to be the cause of your misery after you have given up so much to raise them.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e8e31337a\">So, go out and find yourself. Find out what makes you happy and follow your own path. And then share all your new adventures with your family. They will be excited to hear what you have been up to!<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_contentbox_shortcode thrv-content-box tve-elem-default-pad\" data-css=\"tve-u-16efc6ed46b\">\n\t<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\"><\/div>\n\t<div class=\"tve-cb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-divider\" data-style-d=\"tve_sep-1\" data-thickness-d=\"1\" data-color-d=\"rgb(204, 204, 204)\" data-css=\"tve-u-16efc6ed464\">\n\t<hr class=\"tve_sep tve_sep-1\">\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16efc6ed465\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16efc6ed467\">Sources<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element tve-froala fr-box fr-basic\" data-css=\"tve-u-16efc6fabd5\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16efc6ed468\"><span><a class=\"tve-froala fr-basic\" data-css=\"tve-u-16efc6ed46a\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nimh.nih.gov\/health\/publications\/depression\/index.shtml#pub8\" style=\"outline: none;\" target=\"_blank\">https:\/\/www.nimh.nih.gov\/health\/publications\/depression\/index.shtml#pub8<\/a><\/span><\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16efc6fabd5\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16efc6ed468\"><span style=\"text-decoration: none; display: inline-block;\">https:\/\/www.helpguide.org\/articles\/depression\/helping-someone-with-depression.htm<\/span><\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16efc6fabd5\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16efc6ed468\"><span style=\"text-decoration: none; display: inline-block;\">https:\/\/www.mayoclinic.org\/diseases-conditions\/depression\/in-depth\/depression\/art-20045943<\/span><\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\" data-css=\"tve-u-16efc6fabd5\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16efc6ed468\"><span style=\"text-decoration: none; display: inline-block;\">https:\/\/adaa.org\/lgbtq-communities<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element tve-froala fr-box fr-basic\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e93746d6b\" style=\"\"><p data-css=\"tve-u-16e9374575e\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><a class=\"tve-froala fr-basic\" data-css=\"tve-u-16e93753a63\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thejorni.com\" style=\"outline: none;\">www.thejorni.com<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>","tve_custom_css":"@import url(\"\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css?family=Montserrat:400,400i,700,700i,500,500i,300,300i,600,900,800&subset=latin\");@import url(\"\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css?family=Quicksand:400,500&subset=latin\");@media (min-width: 300px){[data-css=\"tve-u-16e6f9579b5\"] { padding: 0px !important; 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