{"id":50,"date":"2019-11-06T14:59:53","date_gmt":"2019-11-06T14:59:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/?p=50"},"modified":"2019-12-16T20:31:53","modified_gmt":"2019-12-16T20:31:53","slug":"how-the-jorni-was-born","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thejorni.com\/blog\/how-the-jorni-was-born\/","title":{"rendered":"How the J\u014drni Was Born"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Round<\/span><\/p>\n

Depression Hell Sur-Thriver<\/span><\/h1>\n

Depression.<\/p>\n

The word itself brings up a whole bag of extremely mixed emotions for me. On the one hand, I am angry and frustrated that it took so much of my life from me. On the other hand, I am thankful for all the things I learned about myself and my depression that make it possible to live my life to the fullest extent now, with deep passion and gratitude.<\/p>\n

So, here it goes. <\/p>\n

Hi, my name is Petra and I am a depression sur-thriver. <\/strong><\/p>\n

I borrowed the term sur-thriver from Melissa Dohme Hill, who calls herself a sur-thriver. She lived through domestic abuse and attempted murder, to become a beacon of light for those going through similar situations. She is such an amazing inspiration and I have read her story many times, especially in times when I thought I could not go on. Knowing what she has endured and her determination to survive often gave me the strength to just fight it one more time.<\/p>\n

\u201cOut of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.\u201d                                                       – Khalil Gibran<\/p>\n

I think for those of us going through depression and getting sucked into its swirling depths over and over again, finally breaking through it and walking out the other end deserves a term better than \u201cformer victim of depression\u201d or \u201cdepression survivor\u201d.<\/p>\n

Living with depression is like constantly teetering on the edge of a giant cliff and finding a way to pull ourselves back from that darkness takes every ounce of strength we have.<\/p>\n

\"Faceless\"<\/span><\/p>\n

When we finally find relief and break through, it will leave us as a changed person. Not only did we survive depression, but we also now need to thrive as different people<\/span><\/strong> than we were before.<\/p>\n

Depression may have changed us physically, as well as mentally and it may have broken relationships and lost us family members, friends, and jobs. I didn\u2019t even recognize myself after nearly two decades of depression and it was tough to re-define who I was.<\/p>\n

\"Round<\/span><\/p>\n

What happened?<\/span><\/h2>\n

I was born and raised in Germany and by all accounts, I had a pretty normal and happy childhood. My sister and I spent a lot of time with family and friends and my parents provided everything we could possibly need to be happy.<\/p>\n

When I was about 5 years old, I started having anxiety attacks about the people I loved dying. I remember waking up in a panic because the realization that my mother could die and what that would mean hit me hard.<\/p>\n

\"Happy<\/span><\/p>\n

These attacks were infrequent though and didn\u2019t interfere too much with my quality of life. I still had lots of friends and experienced emotions from super happy to super sad and everything in between. Just like any other kid.<\/p>\n

In 1994, my parents decided to move us to Canada and that\u2019s when the trouble really began. Through the move I lost my entire identity and we were outsiders, since we didn\u2019t know anybody and did not speak the language. I made friends, many of whom are still treasured relationships today, but I never felt at home.<\/p>\n

\"Alone\"<\/span><\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t visit with any of my extended family anymore and the whole culture we had grown up with did not exist anymore. This was the beginning of a very long journey that would take me to the brink of life and death, although at the time, I did not know that.<\/p>\n

In my teens, I lived through sexual assault and did not tell my family about it. Things went downhill quickly and by the end of high school, I was isolating myself more and more.<\/p>\n

My parents were at a complete loss and thought I was just being a typical, rude teenager. It was not until I battled an eating disorder and two suicide attempts later that they knew something had gone completely sideways.<\/p>\n

\"Round<\/span><\/p>\n

The long depression journey<\/span><\/h2>\n

And where do you start after that? I had to break off my first year at college because I had a complete mental breakdown and still it was difficult to understand what was even going on.<\/p>\n

I was diagnosed with depression and started on meds. I turned into a zombie for several months and realized somewhere in the brain fog that meds would go absolutely nowhere. I tried conventional counselling and dozens of alternative therapies as well.<\/p>\n

I had good months and all of a sudden depression would rear its ugly head again and I would be reduced to returning to my parents\u2019 house because I could no longer care for myself.<\/p>\n

\"Breakdown\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Until I was 35, I lived with my parents because I could not trust myself to handle my life and that in itself weighed heavily on me. <\/p>\n

I battled depression for nearly 20 years, until I finally began to understand what was causing it.<\/p>\n

Little by little, I clawed my way out of the hole. My good weeks turned into good months and my good months finally turned into good years.<\/p>\n

I am not saying by any means that I don\u2019t get sad or I don\u2019t have bad days or weeks. In 2018, several family members and my best friend passed away suddenly and I won\u2019t lie \u2013 that pushed me to my limits.<\/p>\n

\"Exhausted\"<\/span><\/p>\n

But since establishing what my triggers are and putting in place my coping techniques, I have been able to move through episodes that would have previously turned into full-blown depressive bouts that would have lasted months and rendered me unable to work and function.<\/p>\n

\"Round<\/span><\/p>\n

The key is to become aware<\/span><\/h2>\n

Why am I telling you all this? I truly believe that a large part of why I was finally able to break through my depression was the fact that I became AWARE.<\/strong> <\/p>\n

    \n
  • I talked with many other depression sur-thrivers and people living with depression.<\/span><\/li>\n
  • I spoke to health care professionals and alternative therapists.<\/span><\/li>\n
  • I quizzed dozens of mental health experts about anxiety and depression.<\/span><\/li>\n
  • I tried everything anyone recommended online to stamp out my depression (within reason \u2013 I skipped the taking LSD suggestion \ud83d\ude09).<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    \"Awareness\"<\/span><\/p>\n

    But it all started with awareness.<\/span><\/strong> And that\u2019s why I decided to create this blog and the Jorni program. It is my goal to create a safe space to share and talk about depression and mental health.<\/p>\n

    It is also my hope that this blog will provide a lot of valuable information for anyone battling depression and anxiety, to start their own breakthrough journey.<\/p>\n

    And I hope this blog will give loved ones of people with depression a place to look through information when they are trying to provide help and support.<\/p>\n

    \"Round<\/span><\/p>\n

    The Takeaway<\/span><\/h2>\n

    Depression is different for everyone and, in my opinion, there is no one-size fits all approach. What might help one person might not work for someone else and keeping that in mind is the first step in creating awareness.<\/p>\n

    There is no one right answer and no one right approach.<\/p>\n

    If we all share our experiences and knowledge and talk about depression, we could be providing the final piece for someone\u2019s breakthrough. And that is what it is all about.<\/p>\n

    \"Final<\/span><\/p>\n

    I hope you check back here often and watch this very first post turn into many more posts and resources. If you want to see a post about a particular topic or would like to share your depression story, please get in touch with me.<\/p>\n

    Here\u2019s to hope, first steps, and breakthroughs because we all deserve to be depression sur-thrivers!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Depression Hell Sur-Thriver Depression. The word itself brings up a whole bag of extremely mixed emotions for me. On the one hand, I am angry and frustrated that it took so much of my life from me. On the other hand, I am thankful for all the things I learned about myself and my depression […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":167,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[10,12,9,11],"class_list":["post-50","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general","tag-anxiety","tag-breakthrough","tag-depression","tag-the-jorni","post-wrapper","thrv_wrapper"],"yoast_head":"\nHow the J\u014drni Was Born | The J\u014drni Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Welcome to the Jorni Blog. Read about Petra's story and how the Jorni was born. 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